The New Gender Paradigm

Right or Wrong?

Someone with, say, an all-male gender (personality) is supposed to wear pants, love football and drive big trucks.  If he does, it's known as Right-Gender Expression.     

Right-Gender Expression occurs when outward appearance matches an individual's true inner self.

Of course, it's possible for that person with an all-male gender (personality) to wear a dress instead of pants.  That dress won't actually turn him into a woman, but it might make bystanders THINK that he's a woman -- at first glance.  But as other people watch carefully, they'll notice that something's wrong:  his behavior (male gender -- personality) doesn't match his manner of dress.  Why is that person wearing a dress driving a truck? 

Wrong-Gender Expression occurs when outward appearance does NOT match an individual's true inner self.

Right-Gender Expression is truth.  Wrong-Gender Expression is fraud; a deception.

Right-Gender Expression feels comfortable because it fulfills an individual's basic needs.  Wrong-Gender Expression causes distress because it violates their basic needs.  This distress is known as Type 1 Gender Distress, and it occurs in anyone with Wrong-Gender Expression for any reason.


A transsexual is an individual who has been forced to adopt Wrong-Gender Expression because of a misunderstanding regarding sexual biology.

For example, a transsexual woman is born with a female gender identity, a female gender (personality) and a female brain structure.   As soon as she can speak, she tells everyone she's Really a Girl.  However, since she happens to have a penis, her parents, teachers, doctors and psychiatrists inform her she's Really a Boy.  She demands to wear a dress and wants to play with dolls (Right-Gender Expression), but her parents hold her down and force her into pants.  They'll take her dolls away and demand that she like trucks  (compelled Wrong-Gender Expression).

Suffering from Type 1 Gender Distress, she'll ultimately quit school, run away from home, and transition into the woman she's always been (back to Right-Gender Expression, Type 1 Distress gone.)

The Gender Portal


Stereotypes are the language of personal expression.  It's an agreement within a culture that a certain mode of dress, hairstyle, behavior, etc will have a specific meaning.  That way, an individual can announce to the world who they are by adopting the appropriate stereotypes. 

Social Construct

Stereotypes are an arbitrary agreement within a culture.  For example, in Western societies, everyone has agreed that black is a sign of mourning.  If someone wants to announce that they're in mourning, they wear black -- and maybe even hang black drapes on their house.  However, in Eastern societies, white is the sign of mourning.  If a westerner lives in Tokyo and wears black, no one will realize that the person is in mourning.  They've adopted the wrong stereotype for where they're living.

When sociologists say that Gender is a Social Construct what they're actually referring to is Gender Expression, not Gender.  

Good or Bad?

Currently there's a campaign to get rid of all stereotypes.    ...Because stereotypes are deceptive (for example,  not all men wear pants all the time -- eg, while swimming; while women often wear pants too).    Furthermore, society has no right to impose rules of dress and behavior; it's forcing round pegs into square holes.  People should be able to wear whatever they want.

Except, personal expression is an opportunity, not a requirement.  An individual doesn't have to communicate if they don't want to.  But if they do want to communicate, if they don't use the commonly accepted language, no one else will understand what they're saying.  In fact, societies depend on this sort of communication in order to survive.  A campaign to eliminate all stereotypes is as hopeless as a campaign to eliminate all words.

There ARE inappropriate stereotypes.   They're usually phrased like, All Eskimos are... (fill in the blank).   Note that bad stereotypes usually involve an outsider making generalizations about a certain nation or culture.   Whereas okay stereotypes are personal declarations about yourself. 

Hercules was a Man's Man.  Roman & Greek boys yearned to grow up to be just like him -- strong, clever, the ultimate warrior, and the helper of mankind.

Except, to atone for murder, Hercules was ordered to serve Omphale, the Queen of Lydia, for a year. ...As a woman.  He wore a dress, did the dishes, danced for the court's entertainment, and took up spinning.

Was he still a man while he wore the dress?

Gender Expression

Gender Expression is...  well, how Gender is expressed.  It refers to a person's outside appearance & behavior, in addition to the roles they play in society.  Gender consists of personality traits -- an individual's talents, challenges, perspectives, needs, etc.  But all that is invisible.  It's not possible to see an individual's Gender in a single glance, although it IS possible to determine Gender by monitoring their behavior over a period of time.

        Gender Expression allows someone to announce their Gender at a glance.

For example, a man expresses his gender when he wears a suit & tie -- or maybe jeans and an old sweatshirt.  A woman shows that she's a woman by growing her hair long, putting on make-up and by wearing a dress.

Everyone has an ingrained need to reveal to the world who they are and what they stand for:  their gender, their mood, their interests, their nationality,  their social class, their religious beliefs, their line of work, and so on.  That announcement involves the adoption of standardized modes of dress.  For example, in Western culture wearing black is a signal for mourning.  A plaid kilt shows a connection to the Scottish or Gaelic highlands.  A kimono reveres Japanese culture, and so on.  Every nation and ethnic group has a distinct traditional costume, with female dress different from male dress.

In other words, Gender Expression is a form of communication; a language.  The "words" consist of various aspects of personal appearance:  clothes, hairstyles, decorations, mannerisms, etc.  Like any other language, both the speaker and the listener must agree on the meaning of each "word".  A highlander in a black & yellow kilt shows that he's proud to be a MacLeod.   But a bystander unfamiliar with clan tartans won't get the message.  On the other hand, someone in a red & green plaid kilt may reach for his sword.

Gender Expression only works from the inside out.  A person with a male Gender expresses that gender by wearing pants.  However, putting on a dress won't change his Gender to female;  That is, it won't make him want to play with dolls or wash the dishes.

Androgynous Confusion

Most societies offer stereotypes to show that an individual is a woman, and there are stereotypes that announce that someone is a man.   Except, androgynous people have a gender that is a mixture of both female and male.   There aren't any accepted stereotypes that announce a gender mixture.  How do androgynous people Express their Gender?  ...In particular, they need to show that they're NOT female and NOT male.

Remember that anyone who adopts a Gender Expression that does not match their true innate gender suffers Type 1 Distress because of Wrong-Gender Expression.  (Although the distress experienced by androgynous people is far less than that experienced by transsexuals.) 

Stereotypes are a real problem for the androgynous population.  In fact, most of the campaign to eliminate ALL stereotypes comes from that community.  The Gender Expression dilemma is complicated by the fact that no two androgynous individuals are the same:  One might have a little more female traits than male traits, while the other has more male in their mixture.  Or the two might have different female traits:  one might have male competitiveness with female linguistic aptitude, while the other has female cooperative skills but a male approach to logic.  Those two individuals are both "androgynous" but would find fulfillment through different modes of Gender Expression.